{"product_id":"secretary-of-defence-1","title":"Secretary of Defence 🥅","description":"\u003cdiv\u003eSecretary of Defence\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eRequest denied.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThe paperwork was filed.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThe lane was open.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThe net looked exposed.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAnd then the meeting started.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAt the top of the crease stands the Department of Goaltending — calm, square, unreadable — but in front of him is the real security system.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eNo red tape.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eNo negotiations.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eNo appeal process.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eYou can try a deke, a quick release, a desperation move across the crease…\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003ebut before the puck ever reaches the desk, it goes through the enforcer of policy.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThe crease is restricted airspace.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eThe slot is a controlled zone.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAnd the man in red isn’t a forward — he’s clearance control.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eEvery attacker believes they’ve found an opening.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eEvery attacker learns the same thing:\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eYou’re not scoring on the goalie…\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003ebecause first you have to get past the Secretary of Defence.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAccess to the net: classified. 🏒\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: bold; font-size: 20px;\"\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"overflow: auto;\"\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width: 1024px;\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\" colspan=\"2\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003ecm\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\"\u003einch\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; 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border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e9.1 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e23 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\"\u003e9.3 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; background: #F8F8F8; width: 150px;\"\u003e23.5 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e9.4 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"font-weight: 400; border: 1px solid #e2e2e2; text-align: center; width: 150px;\"\u003e24 \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"item-id\" style=\"display: none;\"\u003egid:\/\/shopify\/Product\/9402450149597\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"ODMPOD","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47548435693789,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#001","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47548435726557,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#002","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47548435759325,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#003","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47548435792093,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#004","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47548435824861,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#005","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":47548435857629,"sku":"260306PODPQ2191#006","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0800\/9131\/6445\/files\/a689013ede274607919c923ccda27186.png?v=1772755536","url":"https:\/\/itixnowstore.com\/products\/secretary-of-defence-1","provider":"iTIXNOW MERCH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}